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As I sit here on our hotel bed tonight, I am succumbed with emotions. I look back on where I have been and where I am now and I just breathe it all in. In through my nose, and out of my mouth… I count to 5… And I do it again. With every inhale, I allow myself to ‘feel’ every little thing, every emotion, every thought, every positive and negative. I allow myself to be at one with it all. And just as easily as I allow myself to feel, I allow myself to let go with every outpouring of my breath.
What we hold onto today, tonight, or from our “yesterdays”, we take into our tomorrows’. My frustration, my fear, my doubt, my insecurities, my dreams that will never become reality, my “expectations”… All disappear with a breath. I am able to allow myself to detach from things that don’t hold me to a higher place. I detach myself from things that don’t challenge, encourage or allow me to express my ability to be a better version of me. Today may have been amazing, and it was, but I cannot say that everyday – who really can? What I can say everyday is that when I lay in my bed at night, I breathe my day in and breathe my day out… I filter the good from the bad and I let it go. Knowing now, learning now, understanding me and who I want to be tomorrow and how I can achieve that.
I thank God everyday for giving me what I have and the ability to let go of things that I don’t need. I envision myself on an elevator of life, only heading up and on my way up, things/people/objects/emotions/immaturity/insecurities – they all have their “floor” to which I breathe them a fair goodbye and thank them for allowing me to learn from it and let them off, watch the door shut, and I smile knowing I am still on my way up. I am a better version of me, everyday I wake. But, I am not perfect, and sometimes to be better version of ourselves, we need to take a few steps back. I am humbled and always in need of being slapped in the face with reality every now and then. For it allows me to remember how much of my life I have control of and how little I can actually control.
So tonight, I breathe in and allow myself to trust, knowing that God always had a plan for my life and how little I can control that. I breathe out and let go of what I thought was to be, and allow what IS to fulfill my happiness tank and wake up tomorrow a new and better version of who I thought I was today.
Every Day In April 
Thank you for sharing this intimate experience…I Love You.
Dad
On Tue, Jun 18, 2019, 11:57 AM Every Day In April wrote:
> everydayinapril posted: ” Three years ago I was going thru one of the > worst times of my life – and although I didn’t need the reminder of how low > I had gotten – Facebook quickly reminded me with a “memories” pop up. ugh. > Three years ago I struggled each day with a fee” >