What a year makes…

I’ve been digesting and trying to process the events of my life this past year. It’s been a rollercoaster ride full of emotions on either side of the spectrum. I felt deep emotional pain, happiness beyond words and have felt every hill in between. 

A year ago I was restricted to my dark bedroom with an emotional migraine from the depths of hell itself. I was so over whelmed with what was going on in my life that it seemed to seep out of my body with each pound. 

My life would never be the same. 

I had just found out I was having a girl and It was such a sweet moment grown out of the roots of thee unknown. In that exact moment everything I had felt up till that point felt as if it was being released out of my body as I laid in the dark. It’s hard to explain the feeling and some may think I’m insane, but I felt it. 

In an instant of knowing I would be having my girl, rivers ran down my face. They didn’t stop for 4 days. I wasn’t ready to tell anyone. I needed my time to let it all release. 

(The number 4 has had a significance in my story with Grace – but that’s a different post for a much different day)

What a year it’s been since that day. Since that moment I have been just soaking it all in. I can stare at my daughter for hours. Even though she has only been here for 7 months, I feel like I have known her my whole life. I feel it confirmed when I can see my Grandma in her face. It’s confirmed when I hear God tell me “I told you”. 

I never want to feel the hurt I had felt last year again, but I am happy to have felt it. It was real. It was raw and it was life. It was a reminder, again, about how little we have control over our lives. 

👯💞