We have babies! Gosh!

12 Mar

This is a re-post from  5/18/12

man your brooms!

Hi, My name is April.

I’m addicted to sweeping.

….there are you happy?!

I am doing my usual chores for the day when my husband says “Babe, come and sit down and have a beer with me”
I look up from my sweeping and just want to give him the nasty glare that wife’s are so good at giving their husbands, but instead:
” This place is a mess! It’s always a mess!” I complain.

“That’s because people live here April… are you expecting people over?”

“No, I don’t have the pleasure of having people over and If I did have people over I wouldn’t want them to think that messy people live here”

“So you’re telling me you are cleaning for non-existing guests we may or may not have over? We aren’t messy people, we are just people…and didn’t I just see you clean the floors yesterday?”

“No…? Yes….?” I am immediately confused…. Did I really just do this yesterday?

“They need to be done now. They are dirty… just look for yourself…” I point to the minute pile I had, thinking it was much larger than it was. I think at this point I was getting a bit frustrated

“We have babies! Ya’ know!?” I said for lack of better words.

I am always cleaning up…
sweep mop, mop sweep, sweep mop… repeat every day or if I’m lucky I get the pleasure of doing this twice a day.

Don’t get me wrong, It wasn’t that I didn’t want to sit down and have a nice, cold, refreshing beer with my husband, it was just that shit needed to be done and who else would do it…

“Maybe the cleaning fairy?”….
Did I just say my thought’s out loud?

So, with the “Ugh” I uttered and in spite I caved in, put my broom away and grabbed a cold beverage from the mini fridge (which is usually designated for items such as this). I sat back and tried to relax with my husband.
Now I tend to have a bit of a OCD problem and it was starting to rear its ugly head that night when I laid down to go to sleep. I felt the urge I typically get when I know something isn’t right and I just have to make it right. twitch. twitch.TWITCH! My legs are in full force. POP, eyes wide open and head up off my pillow like I had forgotten
to turn off the stove kind of emergency. I knew it was late, really late, but really, why!? Why does my brain do this to me!? I just must get it done…
A few hours later while in mid-sweep my husband comes out of the bedroom…

“You just couldn’t resist. You know they probably have meetings for people like you that you could attend. They might help” he adds a smirk and turns around and heads back to bed.

“We… HAVE. BABIES. YA KNOW!?” I quietly scream (when you’re a mom, you know how to do that effectively) I continue to sweep my floors as I mumble underneath my breath…

“I am the only one who cares if the house is clean or not. If It weren’t for me, you all would be walking on dirty floors and the baby would be crawling on dog hair and…. why don’t you get that!” I finished sweeping and put my broom away and started on moping my floors.

“Hello, my name is April and I have a sweeping addiction…” I said giggling to myself as I continued to push the mop back and forth. I tried to tell myself the best explaination that I could so that I didn’t feel stupid for sweeping my floors at one in the morning. But, reality is I was sweeping the floors at one-am, and trying to convince myself that this was normal like a crazy person…. and my damn leg was still twitching.
mumble mumble mumble….

The last thing I remembered uttering to myself as I put the mop in it’s rightful place….
“pshhhh, we have babies…. gosh…”

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